Hi there!

It’s a very late post. However, this is going to be a heartfelt post, so please read it carefully, okay? It’s heartwarming for me, so pretty please (imagine my puppy eyes popping).

I traveled back and forth to Bangalore in the first week of March, which left me physically drained due to the travel and motion sickness. However, I managed to finish reading “Anilaadum Mundril” by Na. Muthukumar on my Kindle. Wow! It’s a beautiful portrayal of various relationships. While I couldn’t relate to it completely, the book made me appreciate all the wonderful akka, thangachi, thambi, marumagan/magal, pangali, athai, and maama relationships I’ve gained outside of my biological family.

Aside from my immediate family, which includes my parents, siblings, and my little cousin who is like a brother to me, I don’t have many strong relationships with the extended family that the universe created for me. My maternal grandfather, whom we all adored and from whom I might have inherited my writing skills, passed away when we were young, so we don’t have many fond memories of him.

In “Anilaadum Mundril,” each chapter about different relationships might bring tears to readers who can relate, but it’s the final chapter that will move anyone to tears. Despite discussing every relationship in depth, the author’s most important advice to his son is to stay close to relatives but also maintain some distance. He emphasizes that among all relationships, the greatest is friendship. “Make friends, and your life will become straight,” he advises. This is true, apart from your own family, good friends are often the ones who will be there for you in critical moments, so choose wisely. I’ve always believed that the relationships we build outside our family can become the true family that supports us through various phases of life.

Here’s to those akka, thangachi, annan, thambi, and pangali relationships I’ve earned in my life. Let me share short stories to describe each of these relationships randomly.

I’ll begin with my very own family. As I mentioned, I’ve been traveling back and forth between Bangalore and Chennai this week. During that travel, I had an excruciating headache, and body ache and the painkiller didn’t help. To make matters worse, I’ve been experiencing random shivers at midnight for past few months, where I start murmuring until my mom hugs me to calm down as she lies next to me. You know, I fight with my family a lot, as we all do due to the differences of opinions and the misunderstandings. Everyone has disputes and resents each other at times because we’re not perfect and can’t always understand each other psychologically. During every fight, I yell at my family members and declare that I can manage alone, that I’m a 24-year-old adult who can handle herself. But guess what? I needed someone during that night of that travel. I almost startled the person sleeping opposite me with my shivering and yelling, lol. I cried myself to sleep in pain, but I wanted my someone to hold me, even though I claimed to be a grown 24-year-old woman.

We can be independent and empowered and still need someone; that’s why the universe made humankind capable of love. It’s completely okay to need someone no matter how much you grow. I love you, Mom, for hugging me through my nightmares, sickness, and breakdowns. I love you for fighting with me because distance brings us closer together.

Let’s talk about the love-hate relationship, yes, the sibling bond. For the first time in my life, I stopped talking to my brother for a week. It was an important fight for me, but eventually, we made up. I still resent him for that day, and I made sure to tell him to his face. But, I am also incredibly grateful for the bond we share. For instance, he gave me his MacBook for my love of writing and his Kindle for my love of reading. He might even get me an iPhone just because he cares about his youngest sibling (lol). Jokes aside, he’s the person I can share things with first, knowing I won’t be judged and can make rational decisions. However, past few months have been hard, and everyone’s trying the best they can and at time he still makes me angry, but lol that okay I guess. He’s not only been a brother but also a father figure, providing me with the education I wanted. He’s not lovey-dovey, but he hugged me when I was devastated and let me lie on his lap for the very first time in my entire 24 years of life while he patted me with warmth. That’s the love-hate relationship we have. Love you Navee!

Now, onto the sister-sister story. One of us is all girly and loves shopping, while the other prefers wearing different types of black clothes ordered online. I can’t count how many times we’ve fought because I didn’t want to go shopping with her. We’re not the type of sisters who share every little secret and hide things from our mom; there wasn’t much to hide anyway. Most of the time, she’s the elder sibling to me, and sometimes, I’ve been the elder sibling to her. We’ve shared our sorrows during rough patches and cried together. We’re both sensitive, which we have in common, and we can fit into each other’s clothes, except for pants, because she’s six feet tall, and I’m the tiny one in the family. We often fall sick together, but she’ll bear the pain and end up pressing my head. She’s always been that kind of sister. You’re bolder than you look, sister! You might not realize it, but you’re the bold one! Love you jen-jen!

And to you, my little nugget cousin. You came into my life unexpectedly, but you’re a gem. You might look rugged, but you have a kind heart and have gone through so much like us. You’re one of a kind. I love you, thambi, with all my heart. Make akka proud and get those Converse or Jordans, okay thambi?

Now, let me talk about my pangalis—the friends I’ve made.

First, my friend turned partner. He’s been my friend for the past nine years and my partner for almost four. Even back then, and now, he’s been the constant in my life, despite knowing all my messy past and the mess that I am. He chose to stay and take it all forever. Thanks, babe. Our love hasn’t changed, and neither have our arguments about the existence of God and churches, lol. He is the ideal partner anyone could ask for. When I didn’t believe in soulmate love and marriage, he made me want to believe. Thank you. He gives me the space to be myself, whether in silence or in arguments. Love you, G!

Next is my school friend who became closer after we graduated. She’s the kind of friend who prays for you even if you’re out of touch. She’s someone you can relate to on everything. She’s a friend and sister you can avoid for months and still pick up right where you left off, without anything changing. I still hate adulthood for keeping us apart, but maybe we should open that cafe library and settle down soon. What do you say, Jim? Love you, bbg!

Then there’s my entire UG friend gang. I don’t need to name you all; you know who you are. You mean a lot to me. Even though I’m not in touch with all of you, I know if I called in the middle of the night, you’d be there for me without hesitation. You guys are that kind of friends to me. Love you, gal pals!

And then there’s this kid who came into my life when I felt lost. Hey, Rach. This is the friend with whom I’ve faced lesbian allegations. She’s made me do all sorts of naughty stuff in post-grad, and I’m glad she did. I hate that she’s miles away in another country, but I’m immensely happy seeing my baby girl grow. I’m thrilled you found your man! She’s also the one who got me into the habit of taking pictures of my favorite people on every special occasion, no matter what. Sometimes I still hesitate, but then I think, “What would Rach do?” and go ahead and ask for a picture and enjoy the moment. She is the kind of friend who would send you a care package, even from miles away, as soon as she finds out you’ve lost some weight. She is also a friend and family member who is always ready to give without expecting anything in return. Are you ready to trouble me forever, kid? Love you and miss you, kiddo!

And then there’s my school teacher and her kids, who have become like family to me. I make sure to visit them every month since I finished school. I’ve given her such a hard time with my eating habits, haha, and I still do every time I visit. Recently, there was a period when I didn’t text or call her for a while, and she immediately knew something was off. She made sure to check up on me, how many people are fortunate enough to have relationships like that? I feel truly blessed. Thank you for everything, Ma’am!

Now, let me talk about my current workplace, where I’ve formed wonderful relationships and found a beautiful family. As I have mentioned in many posts, I have amazing colleagues who take care of me like their own, even though I come from a non-medico background. The newly joined batch of physician assistants joined while I was on a month’s leave, yet they bonded with me really well. Hearing them call me “akka akka” all the time fills me with warmth, and some even come to hug me every day. And the children who come for transplants or post-transplant check-ups, calling me “atthai” or “akka” with their sweet little voices - it’s everything I could ask for!

And well, I also have an incredible mentor, well-wisher and beyond, whom I never fail to mention in all of my gratitude posts. Though I’ve only known her for a year and a half, I can name countless instances where I’ve felt grateful for her support, and those would require a separate post. Thank you, Ma’am, for being the family I didn’t ask for!

Both times I traveled to Bangalore during that week, I made sure to have a complete breakfast, a dosa, and coffee, because I knew there wouldn’t be anyone around to ask if I was okay or if I looked dull or sick. Sometimes, I feel annoyed when people constantly ask me to eat or check on how I’m doing. I usually get irritated when people force-feed me, but these past two days made me realize what it would be like if I had to be alone for a lifetime with no one to ask about me. I imagined that scenario, closed my eyes for a second, and felt grateful for all the people who have constantly forced me to eat: my mom, siblings, partner, close friends, colleagues, and mentors from school, college, and work. Thank you, everyone. Please don’t stop checking on me, even if I get mad at you. You are all a family I’ve chosen beyond blood relations, and I am grateful for it.